Love Me or Hate Me.

i believe that every single person on this earth, at a point of time (or several times) will feel very extremely lonely, really really depressed, and have an extremely low self esteem. the feeling is like every day is an emo day, u have no friends, u have no one being there for u. it just feels like everyone hates u and feeling so bloody unwanted.

that's what im feeling lately. oklar, maybe not that extreme. but every day seems like an emo day, especially when im at home having nothing to do (well, more like i choose not to do anything), nothing but me and my thoughts.

aiks. there are many issues happening, friendship...relationships (the lack of)....money...career...future.... well, i have to admit the embarrassing that it's actually the 2nd issue that made me emo at most of the times. :(

at this point of time, i myself am not sure whether i want to be in a relationship or not. many of my friends felt that im not. but the sad truth is that it's been a loooooong time since i was actually in one. and because of the so-blardy-long-time, i tend to question myself, is it my problem? im not usually that self-conscious about this kind of thing, but because it has been a long time, i started questioning myself. was it me? something wrong with the way i look or my attitude?

and the fact that i didn't even met someone that i actually like or a potential person that i may like.

ofcourse, i had this long girl talk with my girlfriends and some other friend. i get the same old "there is always a right one, just that you havent found him yet" etc etc etc.
ya ya ya...i know i know. i know. then where the hell is my prince charming?

i was told that i'm not-very-approachable. and that i'm too playful.

sigh. are those really disadvantages?

im comfortable with who i am now. changing myself so that prince charming will come to me seems...not right. as i'll be lying to myself and that invisible person.

sigh. sigh. i know, i keep sigh-ing. but what else can i do?

all i can say for now, is that i am the person i am right now. so, love me or hate me for that.