T____T

lately, i have been slacking a lot. i didn't read any of my notes. all the notes given by my lecturers are all jumbled up, it's so so so NOT organised. i felt so stupid especially on our last CPC class. we'll have a short test in the beginning of each CPC class, testing what we had learnt the previous week. i did not study at all, so everything comes from whatever that i can remember from last week. i had one majorly wrong answer, God knows how i can come to that answer. i'm not studying at all! it's not that i'm very extremely busy, but it's like i've NO TIME to study! i know...no time is an extremely lame excuse for a full-time student. well, since our lectures' time is so damn weird and LONG, i need the whole monday and half of the tues to recover. i feel so tired and haggard. . . and clubbing almost every Sat night for the past few weeks definitely contributed to my haggardness. well, how can i say no? it's my birthday party!

sigh. sigh.

how i wish there are more hours in a day. at least i've more time to study and to sleep. T___T

Unorganised Me.

all this while, i know im not a very organised person. especially in organising my own finance and my tuition notes. there are various times that i tried jotting how much i spent daily/weekly, or the purpose of my withdrawing money from the ATM and also the reason why i have to swipe my credit card. (well, the latter one i'll keep track larh).

I withdraw money quite frequently lately, as i know for the past 2 months, money was being transferred into my account and the money was used not only for my own purpose, i have to tranfser it to other people (Leo Stuff) as well as for the purpose of paying my exam fees etc.etc. Technology made it so convenient that we can just do online banking/transfer etc.etc..but the major drawback is that it will not be that convenient after all those multiple transfers/withdrawals were done for a person like me.

i kept all my receipts whenever i withdraw money, but it just keep piling in my wallet, and when i took it out to check, DOOM . i will be totally blur.

this is really,really BAD..cos in the event my money was withdraw by some stranger, i wouldnt even realise it! i'll think that...it must be me larh. need to buy this,buy that. SIGH. this is such a disorganised part of that i really really wish to change.

i know, action speaks louder than words....

sigh. so far, i think the best solution is for me to refrain myself from withdrawing money from the bloody ATM! aiks. wonder how long i can survive???

as for my tuition notes, sigh. everything is all so bloody jumble up! from my form1 - form5 notes. all messed up! i always wanted to organised it all, and put it neatly into a file for each form. sigh. but somehow, i never get to do it. after FOUR YEARS of teaching!

i always tell myself to jot down, till here i photocopied the notes for my students..but i always overestimate my memory power, i thought in the following week, i'll somehow remember i taught till where.

sigh. because of my lack of organisation, it resulted in me photocopying the same bloody notes for my students. and it's not just extra 1-2 sets. it's a lot. A LOT. i think after 4 years..i wasted more than 150 piece of A4 papers...not to mention the ink from the photocopy machine.(thank God my boss don't have access here...unless he google me, which is quite unlikely)

same things i told myself over and over again, yet i don't seem to be following my own advice. and here i am, reaching the final few months of my "teaching career"... i'm still the same. T___T

Love Me or Hate Me.

i believe that every single person on this earth, at a point of time (or several times) will feel very extremely lonely, really really depressed, and have an extremely low self esteem. the feeling is like every day is an emo day, u have no friends, u have no one being there for u. it just feels like everyone hates u and feeling so bloody unwanted.

that's what im feeling lately. oklar, maybe not that extreme. but every day seems like an emo day, especially when im at home having nothing to do (well, more like i choose not to do anything), nothing but me and my thoughts.

aiks. there are many issues happening, friendship...relationships (the lack of)....money...career...future.... well, i have to admit the embarrassing that it's actually the 2nd issue that made me emo at most of the times. :(

at this point of time, i myself am not sure whether i want to be in a relationship or not. many of my friends felt that im not. but the sad truth is that it's been a loooooong time since i was actually in one. and because of the so-blardy-long-time, i tend to question myself, is it my problem? im not usually that self-conscious about this kind of thing, but because it has been a long time, i started questioning myself. was it me? something wrong with the way i look or my attitude?

and the fact that i didn't even met someone that i actually like or a potential person that i may like.

ofcourse, i had this long girl talk with my girlfriends and some other friend. i get the same old "there is always a right one, just that you havent found him yet" etc etc etc.
ya ya ya...i know i know. i know. then where the hell is my prince charming?

i was told that i'm not-very-approachable. and that i'm too playful.

sigh. are those really disadvantages?

im comfortable with who i am now. changing myself so that prince charming will come to me seems...not right. as i'll be lying to myself and that invisible person.

sigh. sigh. i know, i keep sigh-ing. but what else can i do?

all i can say for now, is that i am the person i am right now. so, love me or hate me for that.

Sigh.

lately, my emotions are like the weather in KL (yea, i know..weird metaphor) well, the weather in KL had been kind of crazy lately, it will be soooo freaking hot in the morning/afternoon. then it will suddenly just rain.

that's how im feeling. there were times that i'm just feeling so bloody down with low self-esteem, no confidence in myself at all. then i'll have to have this long girls' talk with my girlfriends, and i'll be cheered up for that moment. then few hours later, when i'm alone in my room, staring at the ceiling. i'll start to ponder again. why? how? then what?

sigh. all those questions were circling my mind a lot.

Voicing Out.

i was reading the paper earlier today (The Star & NST) and 2 articles caught my attention. i can't remember which is from which though, and it's not exactly a main hot topic like the whole MCA thingie or whatever new 1world concept that our current PM is attempting to introduce to us.

first is about this secondary school kid that posted something vulgar on his Friendster site about his school headmaster. apparently there was something about his headmaster that he dislike. my 1st reaction was "wah, still got ppl using Friendster in the FB era?"

anyways, i went on reading, and that student was asked to switch school! i mean, yea..maybe he should cut down on the vulgarity, but what about freedom of expression? i mean...the Net is the forum for us to voice out our opinion, our criticisms. it's through this forum that people make improvements. i felt that that kid was punished a little too harshly.

what schools should do today is to educate students, that each and everyone of us have freedom of expression but we have to learn how to express it in a more subtle manner and cut down on the vulgarity.


the second article that i came across was about the state government will subsidise for married couples who is on the verge of divorce for second honeymoon.

#$%^^&^*(@$@#$ %!!!!!!$%^#^&^

I WAS SHOCKED. then i continued reading, apparently in that state, divorce rate is getting higher and higher and it happens mostly to newlyweds.

here's my opinion about marriage. marriage is an issue between 2 people, if they really really decided to file for a divorce because they realised that they dont LOVE each other anymore, thousands of honeymoons wouldn't save that marriage. it's already BROKEN.

for me, the MAIN reason why divorce rates are getting higher in that state, since it involves mainly newlyweds...and they are of still very young age. it's because, the guy screwed the girl, got her pregnant...family wants them to get married. that's it.

maybe the state govt should channel their resources into educating them, especially secondary school kids about safe sex, sex education. i know some people might say that by giving those kids safe sex education, it's in a way encouraging them to have sex. but then again, who are we kidding? kids lose their virginity as early as the age of 15. and im not joking, this is real life story.

well, all of these are just my own opinion. it's not that i can change anything. just voicing out.

Baby Teng & Z.Yang Birthday Bash.

Finally, last Friday night...we manage to celebrate both Teng and Yang's birthday.

Birthday Boy + Birthday Princess.

At first, they had dinner at Kiku Zakura in MidValley - Teng, Li, Wey, Chin, Hong and Alex. Unfortunately, I can't join them for dinner..thanks to my college who had lectures every weekend nights. So by the time i reached Kiku Zakura, they are all almost done with their food.

Me, Chin, Li, Teng, Wey.

After that, we head to The Library at the Curve and Winnie, Tart, Jan and Z.Yang joined us.

The guys - Tart, Yang, Alex, Hong.

I'm not sure whether it's an every night thing or only Friday nights event, but they played live music. and the good thing is that the music is not overly loud and although it's crazily packed, we manage to get a table and it's not hot at all! i really hate it if i sweat like a pig in bars/clubs. the price range is fairly OK and as usual, i had Tequila Sunrise.

One thing that i dislike is that it takes forever for our drinks to come! and i think their "waiting" system is a bit cacat la. i ordered my drink from another waiter 1st, and waited there like more than 30 mins it didn't arrive, so i have to order for the 2nd time. *sigh*

As a birthday treat for my dear Teng, I ordered Flaming Asshole for her.

Flaming Asshole, Teng and me. (:



Birthday Princess and I. *hugs*

all my dear babies. heart each and everyone of them! *love*

B.F.F?

i'm sure each and everyone of u had met someone, and be able to click well.(and that someone may be of the same sex or opposite sex la) and it seems that both of u can talk about almost everything, be it mere gossips or heart-to-heart talk about problems etc.etc.and then u "marked" that that person is ur b.f.f. thinking that nothing beats this friendship etc.etc.

what had i learnt throughout these years as being someone's friend?
i) Just because u click well with someone in the begining, doesn't mean that "chemistry" will last long.(im not trying to sound lesbian by using "chemistry" but i don't know other suitable word to substitute it, yeah..i have a limited vocab)

ii) Just because that person is not really your type of friend, doesn't mean she/he's not a loyal friend and someone that u can count on.

iii) It takes more than just a few weeks to really get to know and understand someone. but hell, u might know someone for 10 years, but u may not necessarily know everything about that particular person if that person intends to hide her/his true colours.


so like i say, it takes time to get to know someone. u may think that she's ur b.f.f then like after 2 years of friendship or maybe more, u realised something is not right. something about that person made u uneasy. made u uncomfortable. u just dislike that part of that person.

but then, what can u do? totally ignore her and said let's break this friendship up? well, that will be totally immature as this particular friendship doesnt just belong to u and her, it involves friends surrounding both of u.

so..what's then left for u? u're stuck in the middle. maybe u can try avoiding her, but it seems like an immature thing to do, since all of u belong in a group...it's impossible to do so.

and occasionally, u bitch about it with ur other b.f.f. yea, it seems like a totally bitchy and unethical thing to do, but what else can u do to remain sane about the whole situation? u know, talking does heals. lol.

if u have a better alternative...then holler!

:)

last saturday, we finally had a gathering with our dear IP lecturer, Mr Suaran Singh organised by Yen Hui. most of us are able to make it, and i was sooooo excited! it has been ages since we really see and talk to Mr Suaran. the last time was on 4th June, which was our IP exams.

all of us. IP Class 08/09.

Mr Suaran and I. (:

all of us meet up at about 12pm in Nandos, Petaling Street, and we talked for hours, because we were so engrossed in talking, we decided to skip GP class (sorry Mr Amerjit! ), but who knows when will be the next time we will see Mr Suaran again?!

we chatted about almost everything, from IP cases (Mccurry / McDonalds, Pappa Rich etc), politics and even on the latest movie - The Ugly Truth.

and somehow, it's the discussion on the movie kept playing around in my mind. MrS said that all girls should watch that movie as we'll be able to learn something from there.

well, i'll just make this short. (for the benefit for those who havent watch it, i dont want to spoil it for you!) this movie is about a woman who keeps a "check-list" about what she want her boyfriend to possess. and about this guy who hosted a tv show called "The Ugly Truth" -- meaning that the truth is, guys dont really care about personality on 1st glance, all they want is the "boobs" and the "ass". and how both of this individuals know each other and subsequently the man taught the lady, how to act and what to say in front of another that fulfilled her checklist.

well, the truth is, yea..i think most girls will have a so-called check list, but maybe not in the strict sense. we call it criterias... (as Amira nicely put it...) i mean, we dont carry that list everywhere we go, and start ticking or crossing it whenever we meet someone almost potential. but then again, what's wrong with having such criterias? just because guys' so called criterias are more simple -- the boobs and the ass, doesnt mean that we're fussy, right?

well, i can just imagine what Mike Chadway would say now..."So that's the reason why u're still single!!!" hey, but then again, Mike Chadway did fulfilled one of Abby Richter's criteria ie: he drinks tap water too!

sigh. i'm not sure why am i blogging about this movie and what i thought..it's not making me feeling any better. i shall just turn in.

good day/night.

Happppy 22nd! (:

this entire post is dedicated to my dear FUNG SOK TENG babe aka karena who had just turn 22 on the 29th Sept.

who is she??

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The Princess for the day (:

i knew teng since form1 as we were classmates, but i get to know her much better through our school marching band. well that's how most of us really get to know each other better. so, that will mean since 2000. and now it's 2009!

dear teng, so sorry...we haven't really celebrate your birthday yet, because of that incident. anyhow, we'll compensate it this coming Friday! i'm really looking forward for it since we didn't have the chance to celebrate ur 21st....

last saturday, teng invited all of her friends and gave us a huge treat in Poppy. 2 Chivas, 2 Black Label. THANKS A LOT!!! (:

Birthday Princess with us. (:

lastly, i want to wish dear tian a very, very

HAPPPPPPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY! (:

Driving.

friends that know me well, always know that i'm TERRIFIED of driving. yea, i am.i know it's so lame, cause i can't rely on myself if i need to go somewhere. my friends always have to pick/drop me off...or i need my mom to fetch me to the train station. i know..i know...im kind of like a pain i the arse.

somehow, it took forever to summon up the courage to drive. i mean, u can ask me to do anything...reverse bungee,travel alone or anything. but there is TWO things that i can't do: driving and swimming. pathetic right?

for the past year, i tried...driving around my residential area. well, driving is not so bad...PARKING is my worst fear. especially at the parking space near my college. since the parking space worker will want to make sure many cars can fit in, so the parking space is so so so narrow!

finally, TODAY....was my 1st time driving to college. it's OK la, until the parking part. cause that particular parking space is already FULL...so i gotta reverse out. *shivers* and the place so damn sempit. luckily that fella is kind enough to tell me when and where to turn. *sigh*

ya..ya...i know..i'm pathetic.

no more shit.

sometimes, i really really don't know what is in those people mind. people that i call "friends" (ok babes, it's not u guys ya!) i mean..i understand that, even within my close friends, they have some other groups of friends. hell, i myself too. u never confine urself with the same group of friends...so there were times tat u are not free as u have plans with ur other group of friends. this are understandable...

but..what i DON'T get it is that...u dont have to LIE to us, saying you're heading home instead of going somewhere. we asked NOT BECAUSE WE WANT TO TAG ALONG, but we're just making a bloody CONVERSATION to be polite, OK?

what hurts is NOT because you guys don't want to ask us along, BUT WHAT REALLY HURTS is the fact that you guys specifically tell others NOT TO TELL US. bloody hell. y, u think we just love tagging along with u guys, is it? we do have our own life as well...OK?

im not going to give a shit anymore man.

Mobile Went Missing.

i was in poppy with a couple of friends last saturday night...it was Tian's Black Magic Night...so ofcourse i can't missed it. besides, how can i say no to Poppy? hehee.. i like going there.

all this while, i'll always carry the same, small bronze sling bag to club because it's convenient and it has a ZIP. and my girlfriends will always keep their mobiles with me.


unfortunately, yesterday night...my mobile was LOST! sigh. i've been using this mobile since 2005, and i always refuse to change it, although most of my friends always bug me to do so. i mean, not always bug lar...but then, friends around me had changed their phone twice or more , yet im still using the same old phone where it has scratches everywhere and the numbers on the keypad are no longer visible.

i know sooner or later i'll have to change my mobile, but i just don't see the point of changing it just because it looks old. yea, i don't deny that sometimes i'll feel paiseh with my mobile, but it's all peer pressure. so, i told myself to stick to that phone, till the day i stepped into the working world (teaching part time doesn't count). and when that day comes, i'll get the mega-high-tech one!

*sigh* i must have dropped my mobile i must have forgotten to put my mobile back into my bag after using it. it's quite unlikely that someone took it from my bag, since inside there has chin's iphone and li's k850i. i realised it around 2 something, and it's so damn POTONG! i don't feel like mingling around, i don't feel like dancing, i just want to sit down and drink! basically i was sulking larh. sighhhh...

i guess since my mobile is now gone, i have no choice but to get a new one.

It's Not A Good Day At All.

it has been a very, very tiring Friday for me. and it will be worse starting next week, since tutorials will be starting next week. for the past few nights, i have trouble falling asleep, though i'm feeling damn tired and sleepy. i just dont know why, was it the endless coffee i had during the day time? or something was bothering my mind, without me being conscious about it?

i woke up at 830am today, means i only had a total of 3 hours sleep. woke up damn early, head for tuition class, and morning classes are never my favourite. why? cause they are just a bunch of kids who still don't understand the value of money, to them...going for tuition is like socialising. well, i know i'm once a kid and well, when u're 13, u don't give a damn about money right? u just take money from your daddy and mummy and spend it. but hell, i don't go for tuition when i was in lower form. i know, i'm always complaining about my morning classes, but what can i do? i need the money. (not that it's a lot) about 2 hours of shouting my lungs out, i went home to sleep. i was way too tired.

but i only get to sleep for like 1 hour ++ as i have to get my arse to KL Central and British Council. what i did there? i clear my PTPTN debts in KL Central, and paid for my exam fees in BC. Almost RM700 gone. sigh. money are so not easy to earn! From KLCC, i have to head back to my college for class at 630pm. and it's NO FUN at all taking the Putra at 5pm. i thought i'll manage to avoid the working-class ppl from off-work, well, unlucky me.

class with Mr KJ is always interesting, but he really demands a lot from us. if he asked u a question, you better make sure u know the fucking answer! it's better to have 1-2 sleepless nights rather than being publicly humiliated for not knowing the answer. everyone is expected to know. today's class was quite stressful as i can't really understand fully his argument, it's either i'm too tired to concentrate or i'm just too stupid to understand it.

then during our precious 5 mins break, i head down to the finance department, to ask about my refund thing.

i got the shock of my life there.

me: excuse me, i would like to ask regarding the refund of my registration fee. i'm currently doing CLP here. i just want to know whether it's being processed.

mr accountant: ok. what's your name?

so i took out my student ID. but since i havent get the lastest one, i showed him my previous ones, as he actually only wants my name.

mr accountant: wong li-wei. hmmm... u want to refund because u're not doing CLP? you got XXX class is it?

me: erm, no...i'm currently doing CLP, i'm refunding because of the scolarship thing.

mr accountant flipping through a stack of cheques. and mine wasn't there.
mr accountant went into another room, took out another big fat file. start flipping.
then he took out a piece of paper, with my name, IC, student ID number ...
and .... a huge 2 words that literally made my jaw drop.

"DROP-OUT"

SHE HAS CONSULTED MR XXX TO DO ICSA.

i was like..wtf? DROP-OUT? what bloody drop out? i was so bloody pissed that time. i just feel like dragging him out to the lift and jab my finger on the notice with my name there!

but mr accountant himself looks confused as well. so i'm not going to blame him lah.

look, it's not that i want to show off or anything, but at the 1st place...i didn't go asking and nagging the management for this scolarship thing. i was told by one of them and was offered. and i'm thankful for it as it ease my dad's financial burden a lot. i'm grateful for it. really.

but to go through all this? A DROP-OUT? and since it's only a 5 minute break, and it's already almost 9pm, the office is obviously close and i can't even go to someone else to make a complain.

what i'm going to do 1st thing when i reached college tomorrow, is go to the cashier there and screw that fella that i hand in my form to! wth. this is giving me unnecessary work!

i was so pissed, and i was slightly late for class. still fuming over the whole situation, whatever Mr KJ said after that doesn't register into me at all.

sigh. today is definitely NOT a good day for me. and i'm so sleepy now..yet i can still blog. sigh. i just have to do sth to keep myself awake as i have a test by Mr KJ tomorrow night on CPC. so i have to READ!!! AND REMEMBER! AND UNDERSTAND IT! ARGGGGGGGHHHH !

Transition.

Those Handelsgesellschaft days are gone, and now is Boonsom Booyanit. Means? Well, to be quite honest, I'm having a slight difficulty in reading my textbooks and case law now. I'm so used with English authors, their way of expression and the way each subject matter was explained. Even their citation - AER, AC, QB...now is? MLJ and something else, which i'm still NOT used to. The cases name..instead of Rylands v Fletcher, it's now Chinese or Indian names like Chu Choon Moi v Ngan Sew Tin. weird.i know that i'm still so not used to it, but since our course is only like 9 months, i must really speed up the "getting use to it" process, if not i'll totally fail my exam.

i like most of my classes (though there are some times where it gets too tiring), because most of my lecturers are in practice, and they always provide us with real life examples. i didn't regret chosing this path, and i'll stick to it till the end...

BUT..having test every week??? SIGH. thanks to Mr KJ, he insisted that we have test every week to make sure we do our readings, and tomorrow there will be a 10 question test on Professional Practice, and now here i am...still struggling to understand and remember what was taught last week. Well, although it's termed as PP, what we're actually studying is Malaysian's Land Law, and it differs quite a lot from English Land Law. SIGH. so, can you understand the difficulty that i'm kind of having now. i mean, i love studying English Land Law, it was one of my favourite subject....but now? i'm stuck with the our National Land Code and some really confusing and contradictory judgements! (not that the English doesnt have such problems larh) but still...i just hate those confusions and contradictions!