Dear Winnie,
This song/video is dedicate specially to Y.O.U. since u're such a clubbing queen..been clubbing at so many places while i was having exams (club until Melaka too...) and since i'll be away and unavailable for another 2 weeks...who knows where else u will club without me? *sighhh*
and i know how much u love clubbing, right? so just in case no one is available to accompany u go clubbing while im away, just view my blog and click "play" then dance! *laughss* i don't think i've anything to update, until i'm back from you-know-where. =)
i think i'm already missing u and the others! (shit, it's only 2 weeks and i'm getting emotional?)
anyways, winnie dear do take care of yourself and..
1)make sure wey don't have extra hubby once i'm back
2)give tian an extra hug once she's back in KL on my behalf,
3)give a kiss to li on my behalf since i'm going to miss her birthday celebration
4)just check on ee, make sure she's still alive under her piles of assignments and thesis.
5)make chin loosen up a bit.. *hehee*
6)make sure alex is studying and that he don't party too hard once exam is over.
7) make sure richard don't fish too much.
This song, is for my winnie babe. =) enjoy !
Monday, June 23
Saturday, June 21
Mixed Feelings.
lately, i had many mixed feelings.as in, i know what i should or shouldn't do.i know what is the ethical thing to do, yet my actions are towards the complete opposite. and somehow, i manage to find some lame excuse to comfort myself, saying that i did the right thing,no matter how wrong it was.
then, just in a week's time, my sibling, a very close friend and a friend..told me my weaknesses.as in, part of my character that i should change.so just in a week's time, i learnt more weaknesses in myself and realised that how obvious my weaknesses are.some of it, i myself had known it for ages, and i'd been trying to change it.but the fact that a friend that i barely know can actually point it out to me,proves that i was unsuccessful in throwing this weakness away. don't get me wrong, though i'm not that close to that friend, but i was glad that he actually point it out to me, explain and tell me what i should do instead.
another weakness i know that i always had in me...i'm a very blunt person.i just blurt out my thoughts, almost never think of the consequence before. so, yea..i think i hurt many feelings for the past few years.wendy comfort me,saying that that doesnt mean that i'm a bad person.everyone had bad or mean or un-nice thoughts in their mind.just that they don't said it out loud.on the other side of the coin, means that this kind of people wouldn't hurt others, as easily as i do.
but even though i know what i should do instead, being me...i didn't change.i thought i tried, but there doesn't seem to be any positive result.
there are many other things that happened around me that made me had many mixed feelings.my friends, my surroundings...and...sometimes i hope that i didn't know what i knew now. *sigh* my post is not making any sense anymore.
that's it.
then, just in a week's time, my sibling, a very close friend and a friend..told me my weaknesses.as in, part of my character that i should change.so just in a week's time, i learnt more weaknesses in myself and realised that how obvious my weaknesses are.some of it, i myself had known it for ages, and i'd been trying to change it.but the fact that a friend that i barely know can actually point it out to me,proves that i was unsuccessful in throwing this weakness away. don't get me wrong, though i'm not that close to that friend, but i was glad that he actually point it out to me, explain and tell me what i should do instead.
another weakness i know that i always had in me...i'm a very blunt person.i just blurt out my thoughts, almost never think of the consequence before. so, yea..i think i hurt many feelings for the past few years.wendy comfort me,saying that that doesnt mean that i'm a bad person.everyone had bad or mean or un-nice thoughts in their mind.just that they don't said it out loud.on the other side of the coin, means that this kind of people wouldn't hurt others, as easily as i do.
but even though i know what i should do instead, being me...i didn't change.i thought i tried, but there doesn't seem to be any positive result.
there are many other things that happened around me that made me had many mixed feelings.my friends, my surroundings...and...sometimes i hope that i didn't know what i knew now. *sigh* my post is not making any sense anymore.
that's it.
Thursday, June 19
Dancing at UncleDon.
just few hours back, yewwey,winnie,alex,richard,kinz and me went to uncle don.to yamcha and to shisha again. then...we decided to play some card games.the most "chi gek" one is "kam min toi".and it's not the typical type where u snap on the number that u announced.u must snap on the number before or after it instead.well, the point is the person who loses needs to dance.in front of everyone, standing on the middle of the walkway.
*drum roll* presenting.....RichardLow.....!
aihh...but he didnt danced the way it was suppose to be. iishh.... wey,winnie and me practically need to force him to dance...
*drum roll* presenting.....RichardLow.....!
aihh...but he didnt danced the way it was suppose to be. iishh.... wey,winnie and me practically need to force him to dance...
Daniel's 21st.
Today - 18/06 is daniel's birthday.he invited all his friends from his primary,secondary school, college and university.
i knew him way back during a-levels.we were in the same intake, together with wendy and vanessa.we were quite close that time, since all of us took maths,and since the class is so small, only 5-6 of us that time, so it's hard not to know each other better. but, few months later, he said he cant take the pressure of completing the whole course in 9 months time, so he decided to switch intakes.well, it's kind of a joke cause he's one of the smartest guy i know.and...of course his a-levels result topped everyone,in the world.
then, he further his law degree in UCL.we kept in touch occasionally and meet up once he's back.
the daniel i saw and talked to just now, was definitely not the quite-loner-boy-in-the-library anymore.he changed.a lot.not for the worse though,just that i never seen this part of him.and, i'm proud to see the man he is today.no longer the quiet boy.
i really appreciate our friendship, and i really regret those times that i didn't take the initiative to just email him,just to ask how is he doing.i felt even bad, when he actually called all the way from London, because i was feeling down about some issues few months back.well, that's daniel for you. =)
dinner at Victoria Station
the birthday boy.
dear daniel and us.
Happy 21st Birthday, dear Daniel !
i knew him way back during a-levels.we were in the same intake, together with wendy and vanessa.we were quite close that time, since all of us took maths,and since the class is so small, only 5-6 of us that time, so it's hard not to know each other better. but, few months later, he said he cant take the pressure of completing the whole course in 9 months time, so he decided to switch intakes.well, it's kind of a joke cause he's one of the smartest guy i know.and...of course his a-levels result topped everyone,in the world.
then, he further his law degree in UCL.we kept in touch occasionally and meet up once he's back.
the daniel i saw and talked to just now, was definitely not the quite-loner-boy-in-the-library anymore.he changed.a lot.not for the worse though,just that i never seen this part of him.and, i'm proud to see the man he is today.no longer the quiet boy.
i really appreciate our friendship, and i really regret those times that i didn't take the initiative to just email him,just to ask how is he doing.i felt even bad, when he actually called all the way from London, because i was feeling down about some issues few months back.well, that's daniel for you. =)
dinner at Victoria Station
the birthday boy.
dear daniel and us.Happy 21st Birthday, dear Daniel !
Wednesday, June 18
I was tagged, AGAIN. wth?! *updated*
Questions:
#1. If your lover betrayed you, what would your reaction be?
i would be angry, then i would hate him, then i would be sad.
#2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
travel every part of the world.
#3. What will your dream wedding be like?
i think whoever that is beside would matter most, right? but ofcos i wouldnt want it to be at some rundown area lar...
#4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
yes, i always ponders about it.
#5. What's your ideal lover like?
there is a whole list about it, but i believe that ur ideal lover is usually not the person u end up with.
#6. What is more blessed? loving someone or being loved by someone?
so far i felt that being loved by someone if more blessed.but i believe that one day, when i gain maturity i would realised that nth is more blessed that loving someone.
#7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
i would be lying if i said as long as it would take.it would depends lar...aih..
#8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what will you do?
convince myself that there are someone else is out there...
#9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
sort of. but being with my frens almost all the time helps a lot.
#10. Is being tagged fun?
NO.i was just tagged few days back.
#11. How do you see yourself in 10years time?
a successful working woman, and a loving family perhaps?
#12. What kind of person do you think that tagged you is?
definitely hamsap.i never had that many "yellow" conversation with anyone before. (william, that's the truth... *laughs* )
#13. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
errr..depends how old am i lar.if im still young, ofcos i hope to be single and rich.if im old already..definitely married but poor.
#14. Who are currently the most important people to you?
Family and friends. they would always remain on the top in my priority list.
#15. What is the first thing you do every morning?
roll my body several times on my bed.
#16. Would you give all in a relationship?
depends. sigh, y r all the questions so vague?!
if it's just a beginning of a relationship, then no.
#17. If you fall in love with 2 people simultaneously, who would you pick?
neither.
#18. What type of friends do you like?
those that acknowledge me as their friends, and so long they don't backstab me.
#19. What type of friends do you dislike?
i wouldn't call someone that i dislike to be a "friend".but ofcourse it also would depend on how much i dislike them...
*sigh* like i said, the questions are so vague.i can go on and on giving different type of scenarios and situations etc etc.
#20. Tag 8 other friends.
initially i don't plan to tag anyone..but since tian loves these questions, so...the only person im tagging would be:
Fung Sok Teng aka EmoQueen. =)
#1. If your lover betrayed you, what would your reaction be?
i would be angry, then i would hate him, then i would be sad.
#2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
travel every part of the world.
#3. What will your dream wedding be like?
i think whoever that is beside would matter most, right? but ofcos i wouldnt want it to be at some rundown area lar...
#4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
yes, i always ponders about it.
#5. What's your ideal lover like?
there is a whole list about it, but i believe that ur ideal lover is usually not the person u end up with.
#6. What is more blessed? loving someone or being loved by someone?
so far i felt that being loved by someone if more blessed.but i believe that one day, when i gain maturity i would realised that nth is more blessed that loving someone.
#7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
i would be lying if i said as long as it would take.it would depends lar...aih..
#8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what will you do?
convince myself that there are someone else is out there...
#9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
sort of. but being with my frens almost all the time helps a lot.
#10. Is being tagged fun?
NO.i was just tagged few days back.
#11. How do you see yourself in 10years time?
a successful working woman, and a loving family perhaps?
#12. What kind of person do you think that tagged you is?
definitely hamsap.i never had that many "yellow" conversation with anyone before. (william, that's the truth... *laughs* )
#13. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
errr..depends how old am i lar.if im still young, ofcos i hope to be single and rich.if im old already..definitely married but poor.
#14. Who are currently the most important people to you?
Family and friends. they would always remain on the top in my priority list.
#15. What is the first thing you do every morning?
roll my body several times on my bed.
#16. Would you give all in a relationship?
depends. sigh, y r all the questions so vague?!
if it's just a beginning of a relationship, then no.
#17. If you fall in love with 2 people simultaneously, who would you pick?
neither.
#18. What type of friends do you like?
those that acknowledge me as their friends, and so long they don't backstab me.
#19. What type of friends do you dislike?
i wouldn't call someone that i dislike to be a "friend".but ofcourse it also would depend on how much i dislike them...
*sigh* like i said, the questions are so vague.i can go on and on giving different type of scenarios and situations etc etc.
#20. Tag 8 other friends.
initially i don't plan to tag anyone..but since tian loves these questions, so...the only person im tagging would be:
Fung Sok Teng aka EmoQueen. =)
Tuesday, June 17
Kena Tag.
beberapa hari yg lalu, saya kena tag oleh alex.lepas tu CS. =.= damn lame. i dont do tags.but anyway…here goes :
Survey ini perlu dijawab dalam Bahasa Malaysia.
7 Fakta Tentang Saya.
1) saya seorang perempuan
2) ada sikit overweight
3) sekarang cuti
4) suka "joli-joli" (clubbing)
5) saya tegak (straight, as in i like men)
6) cita-cita saya : loyar buruk (lawyer)
7) saya cintakan Malaysia
7 Perkara yg Menakutkan Saya
1) bangun pagi dan gemuk 50kg
2) semua kawan benci saya
3) kena duduk semula (resit) peperiksaan saya
4) keluarga saya hilang
5) tidak dapat buka-garis (online)
6) tidak boleh nampak lagi
7) kematian
7 Lagu Buat Sekarang
1) Sara Bareilles - Lagu Cinta (love song)
2) Mariah Carey - Selamat Tinggal (Bye Bye)
3) Leona Lewis - Tumpah Cinta (Bleeding love)
4) Jason Mraz - Aku Engkau Punya (I'm Yours)
5) Nicole Scherzinger - Bayi Cinta (Baby love)
6) Ne-Yo - KeranaMu (Because of you)
7) Alicia Keys - Tiada Orang (No One)
7 Perkara yg Selalu Saya Sebut
1) Shit!
2) Cheh!
3) Buntut saya (my arse)
4) sien!
5) Fuck!
6) meh? !
7) damn it.
7 Perkara yg amat Bernilai
1) Keluarga
2) Kawan
3) Pelajaran
3) Pengalaman
4) Sejarah
5) Cinta
6) Novel-novel saya
7) Internet
7 "Pertama Kali" Dlm Hidup Saya
1) Minum alkohol selama tiga malam berturut-turut
2) Duduk Evo.
3) Taip blog dlm bahasa Melayu
4) Teman kawan pergi medical checkup
5) Main boling dgn Alex dan Kaya
6) Duduk kereta manual naik Genting
7) Menjadi EMO over stupid things that was suppose to be in the PAST.
7 Orang Bertuah yg Kena Tag Ini:
1) Shin Ee aka Janice
2) Winnie
3) Ler Wendy (im helping u to practice
4) William Wong aka da devil
5) Lai Mei Yan aka kcMy
6) Tan Pek Li
7) Ong Tuan Chin
=)
Monday, June 16
Genting Trip.
last friday, me and my friends went up to genting for 2 days one night -winnie, yewwey, pekli, shinee, alextang, richardlow, bennysia. this would be our last trip with alex since he's going to Australia
anyways, the main purpose of this trip is so that alex can have a good drinking session, and i wanted to go genting since before exam,just to enjoy the view,the wind,the feeling of being somewhere high. not that i get to enjoy much of that though, we weren't even there for more than 24 hours.
anyways, but we manage to have tons of funs.i cant remember when was the last time we had a trip.it's not that all my close friends from my secondary school times were there, but...im glad that im still in close contacts with some close friends from my teen life, and knew new ppl as well(richardlow,bennysia. i was thinking, after this trip, when would be the next time we can actually had another trip like this?we're growing up, maybe not apart, but sometimes this is part and parcel of growing, somehow u will grow apart.i dont deny that i had such feelings with some of my best mates from secondary school.so...all i can do now is to just hold on close to the few friends that i had now.
well, im not going to get too emo about growing up and friendship now.i'l save it after alex leave us.
so, on friday evening, alex,winnie,ee and wey went up 1st.then later about 6 sth then richard drove me,benny and li up.we meet at gohtong jaya, had dinner..then continue our journey up.
our purpose here. Hardy, Swing, Skyberry. unfortunately we're unable to even start with Hardy.continue our session the next day. *LOL*
Us.enjoying the view.something i would never get bored with.
the girls i knew for years. i love them.i cherish them.i treasure them.a lot!
the Gay club.
PekLi.YewWey.
Genting Ghost.
Winnie and Benny.he's still sober now.2 hours later, the toilet bowl became his best partner. *laughs*
at Gohtong Jaya. we spent the night in Seri Malaysia.
No matter how many times im here, i would never get bored with Genting.i love it here. =)
anyways, the main purpose of this trip is so that alex can have a good drinking session, and i wanted to go genting since before exam,just to enjoy the view,the wind,the feeling of being somewhere high. not that i get to enjoy much of that though, we weren't even there for more than 24 hours.
anyways, but we manage to have tons of funs.i cant remember when was the last time we had a trip.it's not that all my close friends from my secondary school times were there, but...im glad that im still in close contacts with some close friends from my teen life, and knew new ppl as well(richardlow,bennysia. i was thinking, after this trip, when would be the next time we can actually had another trip like this?we're growing up, maybe not apart, but sometimes this is part and parcel of growing, somehow u will grow apart.i dont deny that i had such feelings with some of my best mates from secondary school.so...all i can do now is to just hold on close to the few friends that i had now.
well, im not going to get too emo about growing up and friendship now.i'l save it after alex leave us.
so, on friday evening, alex,winnie,ee and wey went up 1st.then later about 6 sth then richard drove me,benny and li up.we meet at gohtong jaya, had dinner..then continue our journey up.
our purpose here. Hardy, Swing, Skyberry. unfortunately we're unable to even start with Hardy.continue our session the next day. *LOL*
Us.enjoying the view.something i would never get bored with.
the girls i knew for years. i love them.i cherish them.i treasure them.a lot!
the Gay club.
PekLi.YewWey.
Genting Ghost.
Winnie and Benny.he's still sober now.2 hours later, the toilet bowl became his best partner. *laughs*
next morning...
my best buddies.
shinee, i can share everything with her.
alex, i can crap anything with him.
at Gohtong Jaya. we spent the night in Seri Malaysia.No matter how many times im here, i would never get bored with Genting.i love it here. =)
Sunday, June 15
Three Nights in a Roll.
Oh.My.God. I cant believe what i just did for the past three nights. *sigh* no wonder i feel a bit dehydrated and my throat hurts.
thursday night - at Maison. we had one bottle of dewars, 8 of us share. i didnt drink that much that night, but i puke. i think it was because i was a bit emo that time. *sigh*
friday night - at Genting. we had half bottle of skyberry and one bottle of swing.
saturday night - initial plan was to just go somewhere to hang out.just me,nie,alex,chynn and benny. we were at uncle don, then...suddenly one crazy idea just pop out.we still had one hardy leftover from our genting trip, so we decided to go chynn/tian's house to continue our drinking session. then chynn called one of her fren, to join us. so 6 of us, one hardy.
once i reached home. my mom locked me out.SHIT. called my sis to open the door.she was lecturing me about coming home late, but ofcos i cant register anything she said.i head into my room.locked the door.on the air cond. take out my contact lens.changed my clothes.and crash into my bed.yes, i didnt brush my teeth or wash my face.lie on mybed.then...GG.com
thursday night - at Maison. we had one bottle of dewars, 8 of us share. i didnt drink that much that night, but i puke. i think it was because i was a bit emo that time. *sigh*
friday night - at Genting. we had half bottle of skyberry and one bottle of swing.
saturday night - initial plan was to just go somewhere to hang out.just me,nie,alex,chynn and benny. we were at uncle don, then...suddenly one crazy idea just pop out.we still had one hardy leftover from our genting trip, so we decided to go chynn/tian's house to continue our drinking session. then chynn called one of her fren, to join us. so 6 of us, one hardy.
once i reached home. my mom locked me out.SHIT. called my sis to open the door.she was lecturing me about coming home late, but ofcos i cant register anything she said.i head into my room.locked the door.on the air cond. take out my contact lens.changed my clothes.and crash into my bed.yes, i didnt brush my teeth or wash my face.lie on mybed.then...GG.com
Saturday, June 14
Finally.
it is almost a week since the last day of my exam.on the very day my last paper ended,both relief and fear filled me up.relief for the obvious - 3 months holidays without studying. fear for the day my result would be out - September. even if i fail one paper, it would mean resiting every all four papers AGAIN for another year. *sigh*
but now, almost a week later, exams seem so far away.it felt like it happened ages ago. maybe because i myself know that there is no point for me to feel scared or fearful for what is coming on September.no matter what im bound to face my result.
so...im just going to enjoy my 3 months holiday to the fullest! im already enjoying my holidays now...but there is definitely one thing that i wont be looking forward to: my best buddy-alex, leaving for Australia.
but now, almost a week later, exams seem so far away.it felt like it happened ages ago. maybe because i myself know that there is no point for me to feel scared or fearful for what is coming on September.no matter what im bound to face my result.
so...im just going to enjoy my 3 months holiday to the fullest! im already enjoying my holidays now...but there is definitely one thing that i wont be looking forward to: my best buddy-alex, leaving for Australia.
Friday, June 6
If.
all this while, i never like the word if. it's like whenever u use the word if, it's like u're hoping for something that u wont get, or u are regretting something u did.yet lately, i had been using this word frequently.
and now...all that is in my mind is.."if, only if i can turn back time, then i would not be in the position i am now."
if..only if i studied harder.
if..only if i didn't slacked so much.
if..only if i did that topic...
if...if...if...
no matter how depressed i feel, no matter how much tears are shed.nothing would change.what is done is done. even God can't change what i wrote this morning in my answers.
and now...all that is in my mind is.."if, only if i can turn back time, then i would not be in the position i am now."
if..only if i studied harder.
if..only if i didn't slacked so much.
if..only if i did that topic...
if...if...if...
no matter how depressed i feel, no matter how much tears are shed.nothing would change.what is done is done. even God can't change what i wrote this morning in my answers.
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