Sunday, January 31

Forbidden Love.

have you ever fall for someone, so hard, till you constantly think if that person.

you wish that person would always be by your side. care for you like you're the only one that matters. to be there for you no matter what.

i'm sure that many of you have or had such feelings before.

but, what if such feelings wouldn't ever reciprocate?

this is call forbidden love.

never, ever, ever--indulge yourself into such thing.

Thursday, January 28

Different Emotions.

this week, different emotions had been running in and out of me. it's like everything good/bad happened this week. i'll start with Monday.

on Monday morning, as usual i had to teach tuition. class starts at 9am. and sometimes i felt really sorry for my students, because i'm not a morning person. especially if i only had about 3-4 hours of sleep the night before, and that is usually the case for the past few weeks. i felt very,very grumpy and got very irritated easily. but anyhow, i tried to go on with my responsibility as a tutor, i continue making notes for them, making sure they actually understand what i taught them.

what made me even more pissed on Monday, wasnt my students. but my boss. the owner of that tuition centre. all this while, i know that my boss actually knows very little about me.despite teaching there for about 4 1/2 years. when i started working, he did enquire about my studies, but he never remembers it as i'm not a public uni student. his mindset is still in the 1970s where public students are generally of the best quality. i'm not denying that public uni students today are good, especially those that entered throught STPM. but, the truth is that education in Malaysia is evolving and students of good quality do not necessarily only come from public uni, especially recent graduates.

now, i'm not saying that i'm one of the so called quality students, but i know all this while, my boss didnt really respect me. in his eyes, only public uni students are worth praising. and i know for sure that my boss felt something is lacking in me as im chinese illiterate.

i never attempt to change my boss' impression towards me. to me, i know that i'll never stay long in that tuition centre, in fact i myself was surprise to be there for more than 4 years. besides, maybe i myself felt that...it doesnt matter to me what i boss think of me.

my relationship with my boss werent very good, especially since 2 years back, when i started asking for a pay raise. and there were few times i objected to the way he changed my class time. and i know he dislike me photocopying notes for my students.

i just ignored all of this, and did what's best for my students. i understand that he has financial difficulties, so i wasnt very persistent about my salary issue.

anyhow, i know that i can teach until April there, since i'll be facing my CLP exams in July and upon completion of CLP, i'll either start my pupilage/LL.M, so i informed my boss 2 weeks ago and asked him to get a new tutor asap.

he manage to get someone, and i wanted to know when this new tutor can take over my classes. AND, the question that he threw to me was just, just too unacceptable and for a moment, i was too shocked for words. i just stared at him.

he was asking whether i can give the new tutor my notes.

MY NOTES. all my hard work, of making almost everything from the textbook in chartform. the one i constantly update for my students. the notes i spent UNPAID hours of doing it. the notes that i printed out using my OWN PRINTER without claiming from him. the notes that he used to ask me NOT TO PHOTOCOPY.

i took a deep breath, and said no. it's my own notes. he still have the nerve to say "oh, i thought it was the notes from ur school days" wth. i know i told you before that those are my own personal notes.

once i said no, he even told me that he actually asked my ex-students for those notes.

then i look at him, trying to stay calm and said, i can't stop my ex-students from giving it to you, nor can i stop u from giving it to the new tutor who will subsequently distribute to a new class of students. BUT if u're asking for my permission, the answer is no.

i may be too blunt. but honestly, with my previous encounter with things like my notes? i had enough. once bitten, twice shy.

my boss was definitely unhappy with me, and he tried to make me feel guilty by saying things like "if u really care about the students' education, you wouldnt even mind giving it to the new tutor. i can offer u money for ur notes, but i find it inappropriate to do so."

to me, it's simple. if u offer me money, depending how much, i will actually consider whether to sell u my notes. at least it's a proper bargain. hell, i may be materialistic..but this is a materialistic world. plus i teach tuition not because i want to educate the future leaders of the world, but i need the extra cash. that's it. nothing noble about me being a tutor.

and hello, although that was the main purpose i started teaching, but over the years, no one can said that i dont care about my students at all. i can chose NOT to do any notes for them. and for the entire 2009, i extended my SPM students class for 30 mins every week without fail, and i didnt claim for the extra time.

i was just too pissed with my boss. he even told me that this new tutor is from a chinese independent school and his malay language may not be very good, so he needs my notes. WTH. at first u find me not-good-enough because im chinese illiterate, and now?

sigh.

as i mentioned before, different emotions running through me. on tues night, i felt very guilty. it was about 5sth in the evening. i was getting ready to sign off (from another job) and head to my 630 class. then, my boss asked me to read a bundle of documents, one LA passed it to me. and, i thought it was for a case next week (which is part of my research area) so i said i'll bring it home and read. then the LA told me, it's for tmr's hearing! i was like..HAR??? but boss told me next week? then, it was a different case but interrelated... aiks. conclusion is, i went for class and the LA did the reading. i felt so,so,so guilty cause i know that this LA has loads of work too. he usually only leave office about 10sth at night. :-( i'm so,so sorry, but...i cant missed classes.

and TODAY...i didn't check my email for the entire day. so about 3 hours ago, i signed in, then was seeing who sent me email..THEN..i saw the subject : Queen Mary University of London:Offer of Place. my heart skips a beat, well more like triple beats.

clicked on it. I AM OFFERED A PLACE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is definitely the BEST news i received for 2010. in fact, 2nd best for my entire life!

the first person i told was winnie, cos she's online..then i msn my sister, but she's away. and then i went upstairs and informed my parents. they are definitely very happy for me. :D

and i have to thank God. He is the one that made everything to run smoothly for me. Thank you, Lord.

i know that this would be an extra financial burden for my dad. there were times that i doubt my decision. thinking whether i'm doing the right thing.

so, i'll definitely apply for a full/partial scholarship. i know that the scholarship is extremely limited, i just have to pray hard that i would be awarded at least the partial scholarship.

well...i'm SOOO EXCITED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, January 20

Hoegaarden -- I Like.

as mentioned in my previous post, i started my attachment last Tuesday, and even on the very 1st day, i had loads of work/research to do. everyday without fail,my boss would give me new research to do, despite other pending research. nevertheless, i tried my best to complete the research as promptly and if possible, without any mistake. (i would just hate to re-do everything!)

although i only work 4 days a week, when it was Friday...i feel like kissing the ground. finally...a long weekend. plus i didn't attend saturday's lectures and sunday morning's lecture was cancelled.

due to the hectic week i had, im just dying for an outing with any of my babes. i haven't seen them for the entire weeeek! and i seriously need a drink. i think i can almost understand why sometimes people said "i so need a drink".

hence i decided to ask winnie for hoegaarden. and...where? ofcourse the Library (The Curve). Their hoegaarden (12pm-3pm) cost only rm36 for 2 pints.

it ain't small!









we reached there about 3pm, that time it was quite empty. i think only about 3 tables that were occupied. but when it was almost 5pm, i have to say..business looks pretty good. i mean, it's a monday evening and working hour is not officially over yet. people are already filling up the empty tables.
i suppose their happy hour promotion is extremely worth it. even we ordered the 2nd time.

the staff took away my empty glass, hence the 3 glasses.
i'm glad i spent an evening out with winnie, it had been ages since i had a one-on-one talk with her. (: thank you,winnie!






Saturday, January 16

Dear Wendy's 23rd (corrected!).

my dear wendy turned 23 last week! due to everyone's busy and different timetable, we only manage to celebrate her birthday last weds.

and i can forsee that birthday celebrations would be even harder to be plan this year, since now a lot of us are in different classes and some are now working already. but i guess if we all intend to celebrate, we would somehow make it happen,right?

this year, we celebrated wendy's birthday at sakae sushi in klcc. since it's nearer to her workplace and it's convenient for everyone to go there.

for me, i rushed over there after work and start hunting for wendy's pressie. i know it's very extremely last minute to only get it on the day of celebration itself, but i had been really busy for the past few weeks plus i just started working...thank goodness this year wendy told me what she wants. (it has been a major headache in deciding what she would actually like! wendy, you know how hard is it to please u! heheee..)

i manage to bought the binder she wants, unfortunately...it's not the correct size! i'm so damn stupid. sorry wendy! :(

anyways, all of us -- mandy,yinshin,vanessa,ragini,fufu,jc,daniel,wendy and i meet up at about 730pm and we had a long, long dinner. but...we're quite separated cause the tables in sakae are quite small, so we were divided into 2 tables. i barely get to talk to wendy that night though, cause we were in a different table... :-(

anyways, i'm glad all of us manage to celebrate wendy's 23rd together!

wendy's birthday cake -- which she insisted on getting herself.

us singing her birthday song.









dear wendy and me. i know how much she hates taking photo, so i really appreciate this!


mandy and me.

after dinner, we went over to Summer-Quattro for a drink.
Wendy, once again..Happppy 23rd Birthday! (:
with lots of love, Jadei.
p/s: Dear Wendy, i'm so damn STUPID! i think my brain must be deteriorating man. i seriously thought it was 22 since the very beginning! w/o any doubt! sigh. sorry again wendy, just because my maths suck doesn't mean i care any less ya! (:

Wednesday, January 13

1st Day of Work.

last night, the bunch of us celebrated Jack and Toro's birthday at Desa Park City, we had a simple dinner, but many of us were present. it has been a long time since we had a birthday celebration that consists about 14 people. we were there for quite long, mainly just talking. we left DCP about 12am. once i reached home, i showered. there's something that was nagging me in my mind....i haven't complete the task my boss gave me. i only manage to read it, but haven't summarise it and put it in powerpoint.

well, i really overestimate myself. after i showered, i thought i'll study a bit on Evidence 1st before start doing my task. but my eyes can't take much of it, so i only read about 30mins and i came downstairs to start with my task.

log into facebook and msn -- BAD move. started chatting with Jenn and SL, cause we need to discuss about our trip (after CLP) and once i'm in FB, i can just stay there for a looooong time, reason being? kepoh about other people.

well, i did try to multitask, i was reading on the powerpoint and on FB simultaneously. then about 3am, i was thinking, maybe i need a 20mins nap. so i lie on the sofa next to the computer, set my alarm and sleep. i must be really tired, i think i slept almost immediately once my head hits the pillow.

the next thing i know, my mom woke me up at 630am. crap.

i quickly rush to the bathroom, pack my stuff and head to the train station. reached office on time and continue with whatever i left off the night before.

thank goodness my boss didn't ask for my work today (we have a few days to complete a task, just that i come to know about it when i reached the office)

and today my boss gave me 2 more research work to do.

it was a long, long day today. but i'm really lucky, cause Jilly worked there for a couple of weeks already, so i won't feel so "lonely", she introduced me to everyone there and our daily stuff in the office. Thanks a lot, Jill! (:

and also Pang. he was my senior in ATC and he's a legal assistant there. he taught me how to do research in a quicker way and it really saves up a lot of time and lessen my reading. Thanks, Pang! (:

then, finished work at 545pm, rush to college for class at 630pm with Jilly and Foo Woei.

class ended at 945pm.

reached home around 1010pm.

had my dinner.

shower.

on the phone with some friends.

and came down to check my email, FB and to blog for a while.

then have to head back to my room to continue my reading on Evidence.

really hope that my energy level will not drained out by the end of this week. i just have to be optimistic, stay alert, stay focus and keep reminding myself that I DON'T WANT TO SIT FOR CLP TWICE!

good night! (:

Monday, January 11

This week, had been a really busy week for me. Barely had enough sleep, only about 4 hours sleep a day for the entire week. I wished that I can somehow train myself to somehow get used to this kind of lifestlye, where a 4-5 hours sleep would suffice. I know it sounds very unhealthy, but this is probably the lifestyle I'll have in the near future, so i might as well start now, right?

Sigh. This morning, I was so,so,so reluctant to get up from my cosy,warm bed. But I still have to drag myself up to attend my Sunday class. Proud to say that until now, I never missed a Sunday morning class before, only once I came in late. But still, I attended. I enjoyed Ms.Mariette's class a lot. She taught us Evidence, and not only I learned more about Evidence in her class, but she taught us many general applications in law itself and also about life itself.

Now that we're in the mids of our CLP course, I am glad that I decided to continue pursuing it in ATC (it's not that I ever seriously consider Brickfields before). It's the lecturers here that motivates me to study and to read, despite the dull syllabus. They are extremely helpful and would never hesitate to answer any of my questions and when I needed clarification.
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I am looking forward to start my attachment coming Tuesday! After my interview last Friday, my boss gave me some "homework" to do, and I hope I can accomplish it to his satisfaction!

Sunday, January 10

She's HOME!



Finallllly...my dear sister is back from New Year! She had been away for about 2 1/2 months. I missed her so so much, and I am so glad that she's home! I felt very guilty cause I can't go to the airport with my family to welcome her home as I have class at that time. And we had so little time to catch up as I have class the entire day tomorrow and she have to rush back to Seremban after dinner tomorrow :-( And she'll be very busy once she's back in Seremban cause she needs to do loads of catching up since she missed almost 2 weeks of class.


Well, all I can say for now is that I'm glad that she's home safely. I am so proud of her!

Friday, January 8

The Start of 2010.

I had been so,so busy for the past few weeks. Since Christmas holidays started, I was busy with my YE activities -- YE Camps, Farewell Dinner. And went back to my hometown, and of course celebrating the festive season with my friends!


2010 is definitely going to be a very busy year for me. Just the 1st week of 2010, I already lack sleep though class just started only 2 days ago. Not only busy with my studies, but also my extra curriculars. And starting next Tuesday, I'll start my full-time job as an intern whilst attending part time class. This is my first time being an intern in a law firm, and I really look forward to it. It will definitely be mind-opening and I can't wait to learn new things.

I know that it will be a real challenge to juggle between a full time work and studies, but I'll just have to manage my time properly, and probably will have lesser time to hang out with my friends :-(

Have to pray hard, so that everything will turn out fine for me !

Monday, January 4

Food, Laughter & Fun.







A snapshot of our one-day Melaka trip. It's filled with food, laughter, fun and later tiredness. I had a great time despite going Melaka just about 3 weeks ago. I guess this shows that no matter where you are or where you went, it's the company that matters. (:



Love you all!