Decision.

about 2 days ago, a very close friend of mine gave me some advice regarding to the issue i was facing for the past 2 months. and i realised what i was adviced on was very true.like today, we had the chance to hang out.the 3 of us, jus like old times.yet, something is missing.we cant bond the way we used to.thus i made my decision.one of the hardest decision in my life.is to give up at this point of time.it seems useless for me to go one.pointless and disappointing.ofcos she will be the friend i used to know, the one that i truly love.i know if i continue to mend our friendship, the last image of her in me may not be what i used to have.hence i shall move on from here.

New Soul

I'm a new soul I came to this strange world
hoping I could learn a bit about how to give and take.
But since I came here
Felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake

I'm a young soul in this very strange world
hoping I could learn a bit about what is true and fake.
But why all this hate?
Try to communicate.
Finding trust and love is not always easy to make.

This is a happy end cause' you don't understand
everything you have done why's everything so wrong

This is a happy end come and give me your hand I'll take your far away.

I'm a new soul I came to this strange world
hoping I could learn a bit about how to give and take
But since I came here felt the joy and the fear
finding myself making every possible mistake

The new soul in this very strange world
Possible mistakes
Every possible mistakes
From mistakes

(new soul by Yael Naim)

*sigh*

another day passes by, and i realised that the shattered glasses are getting harder to find. sadness and and disappointment fills my mind and my soul. almost everything in me used to revolved around this friendship.when i open my bible, i saw the bible verse she wrote for me.when i open my bag, i saw the keychain she gave me. almost everything remind me of her.BUT, now? what had happened? like i said before, i broke the glass.it's up to me to find those glasses and glue it back together.but the question is how long can i continue finding? all i can do now is sigh.

Broken Glass.

what will u do when u are in the verge of losing sth that u tried to hold on to for a long time? will u give it up? or continue to pick up the shattered glasses? this issue had been in my mind for quite some time.and im tired of picking up those tiny glasses. i know that i was the one that broke the glass in the 1st place, and it's my responsible to pick it up and glue those pieces back. i tried. but sometimes, i feel that the small piece of glasses are avoiding me. avoiding my gaze.what else can i do? i used to be very dependent towards this glass. we shared almost everything together. i know it was my own fault to begin it, and i hurt her deeply.but does that mean that our friendship meant nth at all?and that it will come to an end?whatever we talk now were so fake, and i can feel that this is all she wants.whether for now, or forever, i dont know. do i care? i dont know.

to me, a true friendship is hard to find.but i believe that a friendship is akin to any boy-girl relationship. it requires effort from both party. the feeling should be two sided. but now?

so my dear readers...advice me.should i leave those shattered glasses?or i should continue picking up those glasses?

CNY'08

first day of new year.

bowling session with cousins!

esther, desmond, me

cousins.

cousins with grandparents.

Tian's Departure.

sometimes, i like going to the airport. sometimes i hate that place. to me...the airport is the place we said our hellos and goodbyes. i can still remember me arriving in the airport last january where i meet my family members, after being away in France for a month. that is one of those moments when i love the airport. But, yesterday...me and my friends went to the airport again.this time, is not to express our hellos or welcome, but to said goodbye to our best friend, our Sok Teng aka Tian. Although she'll only be in Australia for one year...but this whole year would be empty without her presence. It's going to be so weird not having her around during out yam-cha sessions or to club with. i miss her so much already.