Chillin' .

it's now 2.32am.and..what am i doing?taking a break from studying. sometimes, i enjoyed what im reading, sometimes i hate it so badly. when i hate it so badly, i'll be stressed.frustrated.lost. when i had such feeling, what will i do?what else, call my bestie out for a chilling session. *laughs* yup..just an hour or two with my bestie; do some crapping, have some drinks. whether we're in mamak or starbucks. talking to her just kind of flush all my frustrations away. who is this bestie?

YAP WINNIE

i known her since secondary school time, since form 1.but i only get to know her better when we were in form4, since we were in the same class; until form5. hmm..so that means...almost 6 years of friendship.it's not too long nor short.but i really do cherish my friendship with her and of course i hope that it will last and time will not be a factor.


well, just a couple of hours ago...alex - another chillin kaki, was stressed over his assignments, and me, stressed because he's stressed. (*laughs*) so...we went for another chilling session at starbucks.

Alex Tang - another chillin' kaki

well, the initial plan is to go starbucks and study. so...we brought our books there, well, more i like i bring my book while he brought his laptop.once we reached there, i started reading my book diligently..while alex was diligently chating and flirting via MSN...what the...we were suppose to be studying! *laughs* anyways, finally, he opened up his book and we start to discuss his assignment. i always enjoy discussing on points of law with other ppl.whether they are studying law or not.i mean, it's great, u give ur view and i give mine.and there are no one right answer.that is the beauty of law.u argue ur way out. not like maths... 1+1=2 (no offense to those math lovers ya... :-P )

finally about 1130, we decided to close our books and start to talk crap. *sigh* alex was in the mood for clubbing..since it's thursday night..means..maison = goldfish. then..decided to call yew wey, since she's out clubbing with winnie and other friends. so i called her, check out where they went...SCARLETT...za dao..just a few steps away from us. so...we..."si fat han" went there to find them.hmm..actually is alex si fat han want to see whether they got any lenglui friends or not...heheee...so...we just went there, said Hi + take photos + Bye then leave The Curve. by the way, Winnie looks GORGEOUS + HAWWWT just now. dear blog readers...winnie..is single and available... (nie don't screw me when u read this ya...)

well...that's all for now. looking forward for another chilling session with my chilling gang... (:

now, back to my boOks.

Empty Decorations.

Lately, when i woke up;
When i stare at my book;
my notes;
my room's ceiling;
myself...
This is what i felt:

I wake in the dawn to showers of light
Moments of emptiness surround
Floating away with auras of hope
But reality brings me down to the ground
What can i do ?
What can i say ?
I need a place to hide away
Just for a while, just for a smile
Just for the life i used to know

Where every song
Was filled with words of love and not of anger
Where did they go ?
Why did they leave me far behind ?


Cause i don't wanna be alone
Living life all on my own
I don't wanna live my life in isolation
Filled with empty decorations
Cause i wanna be with the people that i know
Who will do the things i do
Making all my dreams come true
I don't recognise the shadows on my door
Although i've seen them all before
Because the only thing i really want is to be with you...

I look at the sky, it looks back at me
I can't hear the silent melodies
I know that i'm here yet i am lost
Blown in confusion by the breeze
Hiding my face, crying alone
I need to find my way back home
Back to the place, the wonderful days
Living the life i used to know

Where every smile
Was born out of a love and of sincerity
And every tear of everflowing joy

(Empty Decorations by Indecisive)

Expectations.

it's now 3.28am. what am i doing? blogging. *sigh* i was reading my evidence notes, on right to silence.i don't understand a shit!i mean..yea, i know the law and everything..then English Courts screwed it up.AGAIN.can't they just make our life simple?

i was so fed up..i decided to go online and chat with whoever that is online.BAD MOVE. a collegemate, msg me in MSN.so..we chatted for a while.out of the blue..he just said.."so..i received good comments about u from ur evidence lecturer huh. u r rated one of the top scorers..... etc"

SHIT.just a few minutes ago i was cursing evidence paper.WTH?! don't you just hate it, when ppl make their own prediction who will score or fail?and even if they do...it's best if it's kept just between them.i mean...maybe some ppl can take it as an encouragement to study harder.but, to me..it's giving me unnecessary pressure. i admit that, i had a huge ego.especially in studies.i mean; if that is what ppl expect from me, i should perform even better.BUT, what if i cant?what if i didn't meet up those expectations.everything will go down the drain.

Friendship.

everyone in this world, are born to be someone's friend.and we are born to learn what is friendship. how to hold on to a friendship.how to let friendship go.

when i was in kindergarten, to me, friend is someone that i can play "masak-masak" or "kejar-kejar" with.

when i was in primary school, friend is someone that i can talk and play with.

when i was in secondary school, of course i gain maturity, not EVERYONE i talk to, can be called a friend.
since the "me" in secondary school, the person i am today...i learn many things about friendship. i know what kind of friend is worth retaining, who are those that are not worth retaining. a few months ago, i lost a very, very valuable friendship.But, i never regretted it. yes, i was sad.when i think back, i would sigh. nevertheless, the person i see her turning into today, made me realised, maybe she was never the person that i thought she was.

just a few days ago, i was talking to my closest friend, nie...about another friend.a friend i knew for almost 6 years. we used to be quite close, especially during our secondary school time. Yet, once we graduated, the time we hang out became lesser.from weekly to monthly, from monthly to only birthday occasions. and today, even on my own birthday, he was not there. yes, i know that part of the process of growing up, we will be busy with our new surroundings, we will meet new people. but that doesn't mean you have to give up on previous friendship. i don't even know whether i can still call that person my friend.

for a short moment, i allow myself to walk down the memory lane....

• a bunch of us will always have a trip, once a year, the last one was pulau perhentian.
  
• once it was someone's birthday, it will be chaos...as there will be at least 10 of us.
  
• the times when i had major argument with him when we were in secondary school.
  
• there were even moments that i hate him so badly
• times when i admire him for his leadership quality.
  
• jokes that we shared together
  

all of those, are slowly fading away. if one day, this friendship fade away as well...it would be something that i would regret deeply.

SOCIAL LIFE STATUS : CLOSE