Doesn't make sense.

Since exams ended until today, I have done some traveling/road trip...

And now I have to focus on my dissertation, which is due in about one month's time.

And another one more month, will be the time I say goodbye to London.

A close friend of mine left London last week,

and my question was..any regrets? Yes.

Well, I guess, it's inevitable that we humans will have regrets, no matter how much we try to be perfect.

Imperfection, to me, is how God wants us to be.

So we can always learn from our mistakes.

Until now, I have some regrets, mainly in relation to my exams.

I know that I could have done better.

I know that I could have memorised better.

And now, my last opportunity to push my grade is my dissertation.

I'm currently working on my final chapter, hope it will be good.

...

Last night, I had a terrible headache.

And feel nausea.

It's like a tsunami in my tummy.

At that point of time...

The first person that came into my mind, mummy.

I can remember the times when I had terrible headache,

I will just go knock onto her door,

asked her to rub some tiger balm onto my forehead.

I miss my mummy... :/

...

Was having a jog in the evening,

I thought that I'm feeling better.

But after about 1km of jog,

I start to feel nausea again.

Stopped jogging. Slowly make my way back to my flat.

Then...at that point, I feel even more lonely.

Knowing that there is no one I can call.

...

This blog post doesn't make sense.

Everything is scattered around and doesn't link to each other.

Similar to my dissertation.

...

Shit.

One more to go!

I'm done with my first two papers - Cyberspace and Media Law.

Now left my final one on the 31st May.

Just in 2 weeks time! Can't wait for my exams to come to an end!

And hols to look forward too!

Yea, I know I have a 15,000 words dissertation due in August, and I haven't start a shit yet.

I'll remind myself about that later.

Exams...were not too bad.

But not too good either.

Sigh. I don't know.

I just have mixed feelings with the answers I attempted.

Maybe it's the lack of confidence?

I'm not sure.

I can only hope for the best.

Tiny pieces.

I wonder why you can't hear it.

The sound of my breaking heart.

Shattered into millions of pieces.

Yet you can't hear it.

When you are the cause of it.

My final exam will start in one week's time.

But somehow, I don't know..

I don't feel as much tension nor stress as I used to feel.

I can still remember when I was sitting for my final year LLB

and CLP... I start to "countdown" for my first paper one month ahead.

Sigh. It's not that I'm very confident with my exams now.

Just, don't feel much stress.

All I know is that I have to keep on going.

Just keep on memorising as much as I can.

And I keep telling myself, if I'm able to memorise all the stuff needed for CLP,

I suppose this shouldn't be a problem too.

Sigh.

Unsent Love Letter.

My dear,

It has already been 6 months.

6 months since we first met.

I'm surprise that we can maintain this for 6 months.

Was it because it was made clear from the very beginning that we will not have any expectations towards each other?

And just let everything happens naturally?

I guess it's possible.

I'm blessed to have met you here.

Living alone in a foreign place seems more bearable and less lonely.

Although there were times when I feel that there is more bitter moments than happy ones,

the mere fact that you took an effort out of your busy schedule is enough for me.

Your sweet little gestures made my heart flutters, and that is more than enough for me.

Although I know that once I leave this place,

the possibility to continuing this is very slim.

But, somehow...Even when time goes by,

I know that you, will always have a place inside me.

Thank you for being who you are.

x